There are robberies and then there are robberies. Many of them probably go unreported or unresolved but here are five bungled attempts at robbery that have been documented and the year's not even over yet. I hope you'll be as titillated with them as I have.
1. Macclesfield, England 2008: Mark Ridgeway used a crowbar to break into his mother’s house. But according to the local newspaper: “The brazen burglar paused to steal food and prepare himself a buttie before fleeing with more than £150 cash... leaving incriminating fingerprints everywhere.”
2. Melbourne, Australia 2008: A couple were jailed for the attempted robbery of the Cuckoo restaurant last April Fool's Day. Benjamin Jorgensen stole a bag he thought contained $30,000 but in fact contained only bread rolls. During the hold-up he shot his accomplice, Donna Hayes, in the buttock. The judge said the robbery was a complete fiasco and the two were a pair of fools.
3. New York, USA 1992: A mechanic and a security guard decided to rob their local convenience store. However, the store's owner recognised the men who were brandished a BB gun and made off with just $75 in a getaway car belonging to one of the men’s sister. Police waited for the men at their home, where they were arrested after their red Volare drove up containing the $75 loot. "It wasn't the detective work of the century," admitted the police.
4. USA 2008: A 20-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of robbing Titusville Credit Union. A woman disguised with a baseball cap, rubber gloves and sunglasses attempted the robbery but police soon caught up with her and she was arrested. Incredibly, witnesses said that the woman was heavily pregnant and had left a toddler in the car while she committed the crime.
5. Jiangsu, China 2006: The robbery of a power supply office went horribly wrong for two criminals after one of them urinated on a mains switch on his way out, causing burns and electric shock. A duty officer at the office called police, who took the injured man to hospital and the other into custody.
Bonus ... two other bungled attempts that couldn't make it into the top five:
6. Edinburgh, Scotland 2008: Two cousins who robbed a post office owned by their family. The prosecutor said: "To rob one's relative's post office in broad daylight in front of numerous witnesses in a small town like Tranent where everyone knew or recognised him almost beggars belief." The men had pounced on the security guard one morning as he was delivering £20,000 of Sterling and Euro banknotes to the shop. But they did not realise a nearby resident had spotted them donning their balaclavas and had alerted police.
7. Glasgow, Scotland 2006: A man who robbed a bookmaker with a plastic bottle in a rolled-up newspaper committed a "a particularly ill-thought out" offence, his lawyer admitted in court. Jason Kelly targeted the bookies in an area where he was well known. After handing over a note to the cashier with the words "Hand the muny over. Theel be no trouble," he walked away with £450 before being caught moments later in a nearby street with the money in his pocket.
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