How to ignore a letter of demand

Friedrich Schiller, one of Germany's most celebrated poets and playwrights, has suddenly found himself in a dispute over an unpaid bill. According to the German fee collection agency, GEZ, Schiller owed about €40,000 in unpaid TV and radio licencing fees.

Schiller received a notice from GEZ at an address in the town of Weigsdorf-Köblitz in the eastern state of Saxony, telling him if he did not pay the monthly €17.03 for using his radio and television sets, legal proceedings would be launched against him.

When the agency did not receive a personal reply from Schiller, they sent a second reminder to say that he needn't pay the fee only if he could prove he owned no TV or radio sets, but that otherwise he was obliged to pay for the service.

What an outrageous behaviour from a man who is looked up by the whole of German society as a national hero! Here we have Schiller - whose Ode To Joy, set to music by the great Ludwig himself, was adopted as an anthem of the European Union - remaining stone-cold over the whole demand.

But of course, he had a right to ignore the reminders. He had a right to ignore the reminders because he had been dead and gone for more than 200 years. In 1805, to be exact.

But the computers at GEZ still tracked Friedrich Schiller down and sent monthly bills to him through a primary school bearing his name. School headmaster Michael Binder said that he pointed out to the agency that "the addressee is no longer in a position to listen to the radio or watch television. I told them that Herr Schiller has not been with us for quite some time ... and included his curriculum vitae with my letter."

Seems that an apology has been issued which, hopefully, will now allow the poet to laugh off the whole matter and continue with his rest ... in peace.