Beware of bird shit

Here's an interesting story. I think it was two days before Chinese New Year. With people already coming back from outstation for the festival, the road outside our house was getting rather congested with parked cars.

The neighbour opposite my house was already occupying the empty space beneath the tree outside my gate with his car. I have to live with it. It's fair game for anyone to park their vehicle there as it is a public road. My name's not there on the road shoulder.

However, on Chinese New Year Eve, he suddenly removed his car to outside his house gate and he began hosing it down furiously with a jet of water. And it so happened that I sauntered outside to do a spot of doing nothing.

"Uncle," he called out to me. "don't park your car there. There's a lot of bird shit. A lot. And it's so difficult to wash them off!" I looked up at the tree and saw nothing but the branches and leaves. "Okay," I called back, "thanks for the warning."

I didn't think too much of it until I happened to leave my car for a few hours that night in the same spot and saw a few bits of bird shit on the bonnet. Of course, I had to wash them off immediately before the droppings dried up. So there really was bird shit from up there.

From that day onwards, I've been avoiding that space. Another neighbour who had the same habit of parking his car in the same spot also suffered the droppings until he decided that it wasn't worth his time to wash them off every morning. His car is now parked somewhere else.

So last night, I decided to take a close look at the tree and see whether I could spot the offending bird. Came out of the house with a torch. Abd there they were. Not one bird but two birds up in the branches. Cosying up to each other. They weren't even bothered about the light from my torch. They just sat there, unmoving. No doubt about it, they were the culprits.

Since no car is now parked beneath the tree, all that's left of the evidence of the birds' presence are the dried-up bird shit on the road below.

PS. It is not the first time that I've caught birds taking a rest in this tree at night time. There have been other bird-shit occasions in my 15 years staying in this house. But this one has been satisfying because the birds did what I couldn't do: chase one particular neighbour away from parking overnight beneath this tree. I'm bad. 😈