The pastor's ass

I've heard this joke before and I know, I know, it is a bit off colour. But it's only a joke, okay, and it's best that I post it here before I forget again.

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the Race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day. 

The moral of the story: being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, even shorten your life. Be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

JobStreet.com says: Do good, do well

When I noticed a large envelope in my car porch yesterday, obviously thrown there by the postman who couldn't fit it into my postbox, I never expected to see this publication inside. Here are the front and back covers:

I was thinking to myself. Ah, it's Astroboy. Now, who would be sending me a comic book? Intrigued, I turned the cover and there, a very familiar design popped out. It was the latest annual report from my old employer, JobStreet.com, or to use their public-listed name, JobStreet Corporation Berhad.

It was much the usual stuff inside, such as a joint letter from the chairman and chief executive officer to the shareholders, the financial statements and a notice of the 10th annual general meeting.

Since the company was going to divest itself of its online job portal business soon to SEEK Asia Investment Pte Ltd, the letter to the shareholders took on a rather reflective mood when it dwelt on the reasons for this decision. Read the excerpt here.

This excerpt summed up the history of JobStreet.com in a single sentence: "lt is with a tinge of sadness, but more than anything, a great sense of pride, that we see how the JobStreet.com job portal business has come of age, from a start-up in 1995, into a business courted by venture capitalists in 1999, to an IPO on the MESDAQ market in 2003 and the subsequent migration to the Main Board in 2007 before being valued at RM1.73 billion for the proposed sale."

Thus, when I read through the annual report, I could very well understand why Mark Chang, the company's founder and chief executive officer, was expressing this tinge of sadness and the great sense of pride. On my part, I also felt sad that one of the most successful companies of the digital era, one that I was a part of for eight years of my working life, was about to come to an end, albeit a satisfactory end. And I'm sure, many of my old colleagues in JobStreet.com would have similar views too.

Still, I couldn't get over their use of Astroboy on the cover of the annual report. It is perhaps unique in the history of the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange that a cartoon character had been used to grace the cover of an official publication and with such an impact. Traditionalists may frown on it, saying that the cartoon cover would make light or even tarnish the formality of an annual report, but I don't agree.

If you know the history of JobStreet.com, you will know that the company had always been at the forefront of technology and innovation. Many of the features found today on the JobStreet.com online job portal were brainstormed, created, tested and implemented by a team of young innovators who would have made any other technology company proud.

So for Mark Chang to decide on changing the staid cover design to something so starkly different shouldn't have come as a surprise at all to people that know him. The messages he wanted to impart were clear.

First, this could jolly well be the very last time that the present JobStreet.com team will be producing an annual report in its present format. Come next year, if the sale proceeds as planned, JobStreet.com would never quite be the same again. The online job portal will still be there, possibly with the same name, definitely with the same database of job seekers, but there will be a new owner. As for the present public-listed entity, we may eventually see a change in the company's name itself as its business direction moves away from being South-East Asia's leading online job portal.

To get an idea of what's in store for shareholders, let me quote another extract from the annual report; the part where it said:

The Company will continue to be listed and traded immediately after the sale of the online job portal business to SEEK is concluded. After the completion of the transaction, the Company will be classified as an 'affected listed issuer' under Practice Note 17 of the Listing Requirements. We will need to formulate a plan to regularise the Company's financial condition within 12 months. The Board will consider and evaluate suitable opportunities whether by acquisitions or starting new businesses should they arise. Concurrently with that endeavour, the Board will also explore options to maximise returns to shareholders subsequenly to the completion of the sale and this may include a sale of the remaining assets of the Company. The proceeds from such sale may be used to acquire new businesses and/or assets to regularise the Company's financial condition and/or returned to shareholders.

Second, it was a time for reflection on the past and a time for anticipation of the future. The new journey would begin once the job portal business is disposed off. Just like Dr Tenma looking on with pride as Toby was resurrected as a robot and took its place in the imaginary digital world, the people associated with JobStreet.com should look on with pride too as the once fledgling jobs portal business is divested and the company takes on new challenges.

May your wings always be strong and your path always true

May your dreams always be noble and your mission always clear

May your success always be abundant and still you always remain humble

Do Good, Do Well

Hanoi's nightly street scene

Nothing to say about these few pictures except to say that we took a stroll through a small section of the Old Quarters after dinner on the fourth day of our vacation in Hanoi. It was a terribly busy place at night. Every shop was opened and their goods spilled out to the walkway. To make it even more difficult for us, there were tables and chairs on the walkways as well -- often filled with the locals ordering food, talking and eating away -- and we had to pick our way gingerly through them while keeping an eye out for the motorcycle traffic and any would-be pickpocket. But it was great fun to see all these lively activities in the bustling city.

Erm...I wouldn't buy anything from this lady, would you? Not when she goes around touching her foot with her hand!

Hanoi's infamous road snarls with motorcycle traffic everywhere and everyday, but especially on a Saturday. It was an adventure crossing the road at any time. Just be bold and step out onto the road. Keep a watch out at the oncoming traffic, never rush but walk steadily. If you are squeamish, get someone to hold you while you close your eyes and cross slowly. 

This guy's doing the same road-crossing stunt with the cars at one of the biggest junctions in the Old Quarters.

I thought this photo by Giang Tran (lifted from the Internet) would explain everything I want to say about traffic in general in Vietnam.

Our experience with Vietnamese food

I need a little interlude to feature something about the food our family ate during our recent holiday in Vietnam. I won't say much other than letting the pictures do most of the talking.

Firstly, this is, of course, AirAsia's much vaunted Pak Nasser's nasi lemak. Okay, so this is not Vietnamese food, but our journey started with it. My verdict: it's edible and perhaps a wee bit tastier than Malaysia Airlines' version which I ate during a trip to Hong Kong in March. Must be the sugar in the curry.

This is the Sen Restaurant at the northern reach of the Hồ Tây (Ho Tay, or West Lake). The buffet spread there was enormously varied and the restaurant was full of patrons when we had our lunch there. A very popular place by all counts. BTW, the grill section was a revelation.

Here's how the Sen Hồ Tây looked like from the inside.

The menu of the Le Tonkin Restaurant where we had our dinner on the first day of our vacation. It struck me suddenly during dinner that the Americans had engaged in some skirmishes with the North Vietnamese in the Gulf of Tonkin incident (Sự kiện Vịnh Bắc Bộ) in 1964. Foodwise, we couldn't complain as this was our first experience at the Vietnamese course dinner.

This was breakfast at the Hotel Gondola where we stayed. Despite the simple fare, I must say that the food was Excellent, spelt with a Capital E.

To me, this was a nameless restaurant halfway between the Chùa Bái Đính (Bái Đính Temple) and Tràng An. It shall remain nameless and anonymous. This was a simple lunch which we struggled through in silence because the meat (first time described to us as their "walking chicken" and "walking goat") was Tough. Yes, tough as spelt with a Capital T. Tough and rather bland without dipping the pieces in their sauces. Want to see how the meat looked like?

Here they are....

This is the front of the Chả Cá Thăng Long Restaurant which serves nothing else but Cha Ca (Vietnamese-style fish with turmeric and dill).

The meat is of the snakehead fish. First marinaded with turmeric, then grilled within their kitchen before finally brought out to be fried at the table. Good experience. The dish is served with tons of fresh dill, other herbs, peanuts and rice noodles. Verdict: good and affordable, about USD10 per person.

Minced crab meat restuffed into their shells.

Fish fillet.

Definitely not seafood, unless their pigs can swim.

Just a sample of the seafood that were served to us on board the V Spirit cruise boat during our overnight visit to Vịnh Hạ Long (Hạ Long Bay). The seafood was fresh, very fresh. My only beef with the cruise boat operator was that we were given only a fixed number of pieces. We couldn't ask for extras.

And back in Hanoi, we had a most memorable crab-filled springroll at the Little Hanoi Restaurant. Darn, should have ordered more than a plate. They were really good.

We can't be going to Hanoi without sitting by the roadside and enjoying their Vietnamese coffee and an unknown sweet dessert, can we? This unknown dessert, well, it was just about rock hard, seeing that it was coated with a layer of dried melted sugar. It wasn't really very nice.

Or enjoying yet more fried springrolls in their little cafes....

Anyway, we decided to have lunch at the shop right beside the Gondola Hotel. We had been eyeing the food since arrival. Now was the time to tuck in and enjoy!

The famous Phở Gà (chicken noodle soup) which rounded up our food adventure in Vietnam.

Back to familiarity. On the return flight to Kuala Lumpur, we decided to order AirAsia's Uncle Chin chicken rice instead of the nasi lemak. Nothing really special about this dish except to say that the rice was nicely cooked and fragrant.

Century egg in the radar

Since a few years ago, I've become very sceptical of food products that are imported from China. The melamine milk scare is still very fresh in my mind, and I've known of Chinese traditional medicinal products being laced with unknown quantities of lead and mercury compounds. As far as I'm concerned, I steer very clear of edible Chinese imports, including vegetables and fruits, as much as possible.

The latest food scare staring me in the face concerns an imported delicacy: the century-old egg. Of course, the preserved egg is anything but a hundred years old. But it has been processed until it looks murky grey on the inside and transparent brown on the outside. Westerners are often turned off by it but we of Chinese descent love them. Well, most of us, anyway. Century-old eggs are best savoured with pickled ginger root slices while the preserved yolk itself is still a little runny.

But like all good delicacies go, it may be time to relook into our eating habits. According to a news report by the South China Morning Post in Hong Kong, there is a fresh food scandal in China and it may have repercussions here too, if our century-old eggs are imported from that land.

Thirty companies in Jiangxi province, China, producing preserved eggs were closed by authorities there after it was exposed that industrial copper sulphate, a toxic chemical, was used to speed up production. The eggs at the plants in Nanchang county have now been locked away for further testing, and authorities are screening small processing workshops without licences.

A report by state broadcaster China Central Television on Friday showed that three plants producing preserved duck eggs - also known as hundred-year egg, century egg, thousand-year egg, thousand-year-old egg and millennium egg - were using industrial copper sulphate to halve the curing period to a month. This chemical usually contains high levels of toxic heavy metals, including arsenic, lead and cadmium, and so is banned for use as a food additive.

When I was small, my grandparents used to tell me that the eggs were traditionally preserved in straw soaked with horse urine but I don't know how true it was. Later, the producers turned to preserving the eggs with baking soda, salt and quicklime for about two months. Either process would turn the yolks' colour dark green and the egg white into a stiff, dark jelly. Using copper sulphate could significantly reduce the processing time while achieving the same effect.

Nephila pilipes

I can never sit still whenever I come across something that pricks my curiosity and this spider which I found at the Nandaka Vihara Meditation Centre at the foothills of the Bukit Mertajam hill in Cherok Tokun, Bukit Mertajam on mainland Penang, has been on my mind ever since I saw it last Sunday. Maybe I'll see it again this Sunday when my wife and I go to the Nandaka Vihara again.

Anyway, I've been searching about the Internet to try and find more information about this spider and came across some good information on it, including one in Wikipedia. So it seems that this is the Nephila pilipes which is a species of the golden orb-web spider.

It is quite commonly found in the primary and secondary forests of Japan, China, Vietnam, Cambodia, Taiwan, Malaysia Singapore, Myanmar, Indonesia, Thailand, Laos, Philippines, Sri Lanka, India, and Papua New Guinea. Females are large and grow to a body size of one-and-a-half to two inches (30 to 50 millimetres) with an overall length of up to eight inches (about 20 centimetres), with males considerably smaller. It is one of the biggest spiders in the world.

Although its venom is not lethal to humans, it is potent enough. The bite causes local pain, redness and blisters that normally disappear within 24 hours. Rarely, it might trigger allergic reactions and result in respiratory troubles in asthmatics or fast-acting involuntary muscle cramps. The bite can scar hard tissue such as fingers.

And finally, I've uploaded a very short videoclip of this spider. I had almost forgotten about it, being mesmerised by the pictures, until I looked into my camera this morning. So here it is, some 35 seconds of this spider below.

Bottom view of the Nephila pilipes

Side view of the Nephila pilipes

Slightly elevated view of the Nephila pilipes

Family dispute boils over

All this furore over the Line Clear nasi kandar stall in an alleyway off Penang Road. 

There have been rats - big rats - running around the drains, ground and roof beams in broad daylight for decades with the Penang Island Municipal Council (MPPP) or the health authorities doing nothing about it and now, with the family dispute boiling over into the open, MPPP decides to "take action" for the sake of maintaining cleanliness and hygiene.

For heaven's sake, MPPP, (1) butt out and let them settle their family dispute on their own, and (2) you should have taken action on the rats a long time ago without now using the licencing issue as an excuse to butt in.

Are you butting in or butting out?

Hanoi Day Four: Back from Hạ Long Bay (Vịnh Hạ Long)

Morning saw us assembled on the upper deck of the V Spirit to take in some fresh air and do some morning exercises. Now that it was daybreak, we could see that all around us were the various other cruise boats that had also dropped their anchors during the night.

For this second day at Vịnh Hạ Long (Hạ Long Bay), time was rather short and we were supposed to check out of our rooms by 9.30a.m. However, we'd still be on board and cruising around the bay area. My perspective of the cruise was that we never ventured too far from our point of departure, which was the Tuần Châu Club, perhaps never more than 10 kilometres. I was sure that from some high vantage point behind the clumps of limestone islands, I could almost see the Vietnamese mainland, maybe without recognising it. Anyway, I wasn't complaining because these touristy islands of Ha Long Bay were what we wanted to see in the first place.

This is the upper deck of the cruise boat. When we were up here the night before, I had hoped to be able to see some stars since there were no nearby lights to distract them from our view. However, it was rather cloudy and no star could be seen. Pity.

It should be remembered that these are floating villages inhabited by the fisherfolk around Hạ Long Bay. Although they live among unspoilt beauty, life remains tough for them.

One of the fisherfolks getting ready to venture out with her goods-laden sampan to greet the cruise boats

Our main destination in the morning: the Đảo Soi Sim (Soi Sim island) from where we could either club up the small hill for another breath-taking view around or go swimming in the sea. Yes, there is a small beach on the island.

See the beach? It's only a tiny patch of sand on the island but since there is a pier for boats, there are also bound to be tourists wanting to swim. Like everywhere else around us yesterday and today, the water was very calm. Clear enough but not pristinely clear, though.

Another view of the beach at Soi Sim island.

Here we go up to the top of the hill.

More of the same scenery, actually....

After coming down from the hill, we decided to stroll on the beach. Very few people ventured into the water.

Back on the boat, we were shown how to make the Vietnamese spring rolls.

And soon afterwards, we were already on our way back to the Tuần Châu Club, passing by these two little rocks in the sea. The Ga Choi islets are reputedly the symbol of Hạ Long Bay. 

By 12.30p.m., we were already back on terra firma. I wasn't looking forward to another four-hour journey on the crammed bus but really, there was no avoiding it. It was almost five o'clock when we finally reached the Gondola Hotel. 

Unknown to us, my wife had left behind some reading material on the bus and we did not realise it until some hours later when we were about to go out for dinner. As we passed by the front desk, the staff there passed the reading material to my wife. We were surprised; we never expected to see them again but the tour guide had made an extra effort to return them to us. We were really impressed by the service.

These two were making the best use of the time on board the bus.

Hanoi Day Three: Overnight trip to Hạ Long Bay (Vịnh Hạ Long)

Let me say something first about the bus transportation from Hanoi to Vịnh Hạ Long (Hạ Long Bay), a UNESCO world heritage site: the drive there was long, taking about four hours in one direction with only one pit stop along the way, and the ride was rather uncomfortable due to the narrow leg space. Luckily, I was seated way in front of the bus and could stretch out my legs. Still, it was pretty uncomfortable. Pity the poor guys at the back of the vehicle.

Anyway, we arrived at the Tuần Châu Club in Ha Long Bay slightly after half past noon, which gave us a few minutes respite to stretch our legs before boarding a boat that would take us to the V Spirit cruise boat. From the outside, the V Spirit did not look totally impressive but the rooms were spacious and the bathrooms were clean. The tour agency had even arranged for the four of us to occupy two adjoining rooms, so there was little to complain about. And because the weather at Hạ Long was good, the sea was smooth and the cruise boat was very stable. We hardly encountered the boat swaying in the waters of Hạ Long, even at night.

This was the dining room where we had all our meals. On our first day on board, we were served lunch and dinner but I can't say that the meals were memorable enough. In fact, one of the dishes they served us looked something like a peculiar version of chicken curry but it tasted weird even to our Asian standards.

The first destination at Hạ Long Bay: the grottoes or caverns at Hang Sứng Sốt, which were reached after a short climb up about 25 metres.

 The entrance into the caverns. The second surprise was to come after you go in.

And this was the first surprise. The views across the bay from the entrance into the caverns were worth the effort of climbing alone, not to say that it was strenuous, which it was not. Now for a wondrous journey through the interior....

Impressive enough but more surprises were to come further into the cavern.

Wow!

More wow! Truly an incredible sight. The colours came from some strategically placed lights throughout the caverns.

I had to dig deep among the 1,500-plus pictures to unearth this rare picture of the four of us together at Hạ Long Bay.

The pier at the other end of the Hang Sứng Sốt, where our boat was waiting to take us back to the V Spirit.

One of the many sampan ladies who eke out a living daily by trying to sell drinks and foodstuff to the tourists. Not many bought from them. Tough job.

Our next destination after the Hang Sứng Sốt. While my son went canoeing, we three went on a sampan ride.

We never expected that the lake on the other side of this cave would be so quiet and serene, but it was! It was so peaceful that when the boatman stopped rowing, every sound, every bird call, was clearly audible. We wished that the moment could last but soon, we were on our way through the cave again to the outside world.

As we approached the platform there were other tourists already waiting for their turns on the canoes.

Back at the platform, we saw this basket full of the freshest oysters. No doubt, we'd be having some of them for dinner!

The V Spirit cruise boat waiting for our return before the day ended.

As we were a little late to watch the sun's orb sinking into the horizon, we had to contend ourselves with watching the bay glowing red and slowly darkening.

It is to be noted that the bay where we dropped anchor was filled with other cruise boats too. The V Spirit was about the furthest from the rest of the boats and so, it gave us a good panoramic view of all the other cruise boats in the distance.

Should I mention that the 11th of May was also the last day of the English premier league? With little nothing else to do on board the V Spirit after dinner, some of us adjourned to the upper deck of the boat where our tour guide, Đức, had brought out his iPad and streamed in the Manchester City versus West Ham United game. I was a little curious how he could have streamed the match seeing that we were quite a long way from the nearest land at Hạ Long. Later, I was to learn that despite the distance from the shore, the Internet signal was still strong enough to stream in the signal. Sad to say, this puts Malaysian Internet broadband connectivity to shame anytime