When are the arches coming down?

I haven't been to the Penang Botanic Garden since the announcement was made by Dr Ng Yen Yen, the Minister of Tourism, on 26 Jun 2010 that the two arches at the Garden would be demolished by the state Drainage and Irrigation Department.

I'm sure that if work had already started on bringing them down, the news would have been reported by the newspapers. But there's none. So I can only assume that the arches are still standing and one of them may even be tilting more dangerously now.

However, I was surprised to read in the newspapers that the DID believed that the tilting arch held no danger for anyone. No urgency, according to the state DID director? No imminent danger, no immediate urgency? Incredible. "We will demolish the arches," he told the newspapers on 29 Jun 2010, "but are just waiting for the official go-ahead from the ministry. We have already contacted the Tourism Ministry to request the letter authorising the demolition." So everything now depends on the speed of bureaucracy, and we know how fast it is because....

...WHERE IS THE REPLY FROM THE MINISTRY?? I wrote more than a week ago that I could detect a tinge of sour grapes in the Minister's statement, that it didn't sound like a total recapitulation in good faith but one done grudgingly because of public opinion going against the project. It must be true. Unless someone tells me otherwise, I surmise that it must be true. The Minister is not backing down graciously yet. It's all done with a Big Dose of Reluctance. And the longer they delay the reply, the longer it will take to bring down Penang's eye-sore.

But perhaps I should be more skeptical about the supposed flow of communication between the DID and the Tourism Ministry. In this day and age, banking transactions across the country can be completed within seconds, emails across the globe can be sent within seconds, web pages also from across the globe can be loaded onto your computer within seconds and yet communication between Penang and Kuala Lumpur...

Okay, maybe I shouldn't expect the DID to be Internet-savvy. Maybe they still communicated through our postal services. Maybe the DID director typed a (gasp) letter on the old-fashioned type-writer and went searching for a postage stamp in which case, the Ministry of Tourism may have felt duty bound to reply the same way to the DID.

Or wait a minute...maybe, the DID did use email to communicate with the Ministry but...this is a wild guess, mind you...maybe the DID director took inspiration from this blog and sent his message by RealSmailMail. (I did say that the RealSnailMail service is fast, relatively speaking.) You know, anything is possible in this country and that might really explain what took place during the silence of the past 10 days...

Meanwhile, in fantasyland

Rare durian experience

I had a most unusual durian experience recently at the Bao Sheng Durian Villa in Sungai Pinang recently. Sungai Pinang is about equidistant between Teluk Bahang in the north and Balik Pulau in the south. So there I was, visiting Chang Teik Seng to talk durian with him when he revealed to me that the best durian to eat would be one that had dropped from the tree not more than two hours earlier.

"It's very rare that anyone would get a chance to experience this," Durian Seng told me. Yes, that's his popular nickname all right. Almost everybody calls him that, except me.

"It's rare because even the durian that people buy in the town (he's referring to Balik Pulau town) have already dropped for a few hours already. Even the ones you see in the durian farms, " he said while waving his hand across the fruits lined up at his Sungai Pinang home which overlooks a gorgeous view of the south-western side of Penang island, "have dropped for a few hours already."

Why so, I asked him. What's so unusual about a freshly-dropped fruit?

"It's about the taste. When you eat this type of fruit, your tongue and lips will go slightly numb," he explained. There must have been a disbelieving look on my face because he quickly insisted that it's true.

"Let's wait a while and see whether my people manages to bring back any fresh durian from the plantation," he said. I looked out into the distance. It is all greenery out there - full of fruit trees - with no clear delineation of where his land starts and where it ends.

I have walked down the slopes of his vast estate before. A 15-minute leisurely walk would have taken me to a small stream but I never made it that far. I ran for cover when I saw a one-metre long brown animal snaking its way towards me. "That's a cobra," Chang told me helpfully, "but don't worry." Don't worry about a cobra? No way. I wasn't going to wait down there and see another friendly critter approach me! I'd rather wait in the comfort of his home.

Pretty soon, our conversation was broken by the sound of a motor-cycle. One of his people was bringing back some durian. "Any fresh ones there? " he called out to his man. Out of the six that were unloaded, there was one. "You are lucky," he said.

He took a look at it, sniffed it and then banged the fruit on the floor repeatedly. "We'll have to wait for another 30 minutes," he said. Well, he is the Durian Master and this is the King Of Fruits. No arguing, I suppose. So I waited out the time while he continued telling me about the various types of durian in his plantation.

After a while, he took a sniff at the fruit again and decided that it was time to open the fruit. To me, the outward appearance of this particular fruit looked the same as any other. Even when it was opened, the fine pale yellow pulp looked as typical as any other too. But when I took a small bite out of the pulp and waited for the taste to sink it, I realised that it was true. Apart from the usual heavenly taste of his durian, I could slowly feel a mild numbness spreading on my tongue and then to my lips.

That's a weird sensation, I thought to myself. How could a durian do this to me?

I suppose it happens because of enzyme change. When the fruit drops from the tree, the process begins immediately within the fruit. The chemical conversion of the carbohydrate slowly builds up to a small peak about two hours or so after it has dropped. If this fruit is enjoyed at the right time, we shall be exposed to the enzymes and products of this conversion. But thereafter, they evaporate quickly and what's left is the normal taste of the durian that we are accustomed to.

Like I mentioned earlier, it's very rare that one can come across such a fruit. You'd need to be around a durian farm for this to happen and even then, it's all a matter of luck. Lots of luck, actually. I happened to have my durian luck at the Bao Sheng Durian Farm and Villa. Perhaps you can get lucky too.

In any case, if you want to enjoy a spot of fresh durian and get a tour of his farm at Sungai Pinang, just give a call to Durian Seng (012.4110600). He has various durian packages to suit every durian aficionado: RM25 package, RM35 package, RM45 package and even an extravagant RM88 package which covers you durian for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

RealSnailMail service is fast, relatively speaking!

Feeling bored and don't know what to do with your time? If you are, maybe you should just do what I did way back on 18 Jun 2008. (Of course, I was still working then, unlike now. But I was bored. I had time. I didn't know what to do.) On that fateful day, someone suggested that I visit the RealSnailMail web site. If you don't know what this web site does, please do visit it.

RealSnailMail is a wacky web mail service devised by a few people suffering from terminal boredom, with time to kill on their hands and don't exactly know what to do with it. The service uses real snails -- currently, 34 of them -- to deliver email messages across a 50cm-long enclosure. According to the web site, a miniaturised electronic circuit and antenna are attached to each snail, enabling it to be assigned messages. 

(I wonder whether any animal rights activist had ever protested about the additional weight that these snails are forced to carry permanently on their backs. If I were one of these snails, I would look the activist in the eye and ask him what he would do to help alleviate my discomfort. It's torture, man, I tell you. I get psychologically disturbed because I don't want to look like the hunchback snail of Notre Dame. Besides, can't even zoom round corners without worrying whether the chip would knock into something or fly off!) 

A message is collected from a despatch centre at one end of their enclosure and once associated with the tiny electronic chip on the snail's shell the message is carried around until the snail happens to ooze near the drop-off point. At this stage, the message is transmitted to its final destination. It's a very simple process.

So there I was, at 10:15:46am on 18 Jun 2008, sitting at my computer and thinking about the message I should send and whom to send it to. It was kind of real hard to decide on the spot. Serious! Sometimes it's so hard to make up your mind.


I had forgotten all about this website until quite recently when I received a notification from Real Snail Mail that my message had finally been picked up by one of their snails, Agent 55 aka Pastor, on 13 Jun 2010 at 13:30:56pm. Wow, that's almost like two years waiting in the queue. 

However, that was not the end of the story because Pastor would still need to travel right across to the other end of the enclosure before it could drop off the message. In the meantime, it would still have to stop, eat, play and do whatever else comes naturally to snails. Worse still, snails are hermaphrodite animals. There is no knowing when Pastor may suddenly go off to lay eggs. And the worst case is that the snail may die in the midst of delivery. A snail's lifespan is only about three years. Surely, many things can happen between both ends of the enclosure.


Therefore, to say that I was confident of my message being delivered soon was out of the question. No, I wasn't confident at all. Heck, I was even prepared to wait another two years or so. But suddenly again, I received a second notification from Real Snail Mail yesterday that Pastor had reached the end of its delivery. The electronic message had been picked up by a sensor on 30 Jun 2010 at 11:14:58am and sent to Ted, my intended recipient.

So my message stayed in the RealSnailMail web mail queue for exactly one year, 360 days, three hours, 15 minutes and 10 seconds before it was picked up by Pastor, and a further 16 days, 21 hours, 44 minutes and 18 seconds to travel across the 50 centimetres (as the bird flies). I consider myself lucky that my snail had been so efficient and well trained. I've noticed that some other recalcitrant carrier snails that picked up their messages more than 70 days ago had yet to deliver them.


Luckily too, my message was short and nothing important. And while I'd suggest that you try out this service for yourself, I wouldn't recommend you to use this web mail service if your need to put your message across urgently.

Mmm....on the other hand, maybe you should use RealSnailMail if you want to send proposals to your boss.

UPDATE (at 9am): Ted has just forwarded me the message in his inbox, received at 6.15pm local time yesterday. Accompanying my message was a short note from RealSnailMail which read:

Date: 18 Jun 2008
Time: 5.16pm
___________________
This message was sent on 18th Jun 2008 at 10:15:46, following which it travelled at the speed of light to our server. It then waited until 13th Jun 2010 at 13:30:56 when it was collected by Agent 55 aka 'Pastor' who finally forwarded it to you on 30th Jun 2010 at 11:14:56.
If you would like to reply by Real Snail Mail™ please visit realsnailmail.net here you can also find a photo of Pastor.
We hope you received your message in good time. For more information on this or any other project by boredomresearch please visit boredomresearch.net

What language do YOU use?

Soo Ewe Jin and I have one or two things in common. Our alma mater is the Penang Free School. However, I believe that he entered the school in my final year so I don't think our paths ever crossed. Nevertheless due to some inexplicable reasons, one Old Free tend to recognise another.

The other common trait we share is the journalism line. Currently, Ewe Jin is the deputy executive editor at The Star newspaper while I am just a freelance columnist with them. Ewe Jin also contributes a weekly write-up in the newspaper and only last Monday, he came out with a very eloquent story on the official language that referees use at the World Cup to make themselves heard above the vuvuzelas. Okay....I made up that part about the vuvuzelas. My bad.

Anyway, Ewe Jin opened up by writing: "THIRTY referees from 28 countries, including our very own Subkhiddin Mohd Salleh, are officiating at the World Cup in South Africa. Have you ever wondered what is the language they use to keep all the players, plus the coaches on the sidelines, in check when things get a bit fiery?

"The lingua franca is English. Of course, this is not to say that everyone on the pitch speaks the language. In the heat of the moment, more colourful language, in all sorts of tongues, will invariably come out. But the authoritative language is English."

Get it? The language that referees use to communicate on the pitch is English, the language of the world. There is no way that any country can avoid using the English language if they want to get ahead in life. Even countries like China and Indonesia, both traditionally non-English speaking and both very proud of their respective Mandarin and Bahasa Indonesia, believe that the way forward for their countries to progress economically in this modern, globalised society is to increase the use of the English language.

Ewe Jin was quoting Raja Zarith Idris, the Sultan of Johor's consort, as lamenting that this is a problem that we can no longer ignore: that most Malaysians cannot speak or write well in English, compared with the ability and ease with which older Malaysians speak and write it.

“The English language has unmistakably achieved status as the world’s lingua franca through globalisation. English is now the official or dominant language for two billion people in at least 75 countries. According to the British Council, speakers of English as a second language probably outnumber those who speak it as a first language, and around 750 million people are believed to speak English as a foreign language,” she had said recently at a conference in Kuala Lumpur.

While the world is moving forward, the Malaysian government has adopted a completely different stance. I was dismayed with the de-emphasis on the English language, bowing to political pressure to re-adopt Bahasa Malaysia as the language of instruction for Science and Mathematics in the schools. I would have expected the government to expand the usage of English in schools rather than reduce English to a mere subject.

Of course, the whole shameful episode is the Federal government's own undoing over the years. By pushing through this language agenda since the 1970s, they have produced a vast majority of teachers who, frankly, are completely inept when conversing in the English language, let alone trying to impart knowledge to their charges in this language.

The Federal government knows that with globalisation, it is impossible for our country to live forever in a closed society and be unaffected by events happening right across the other side of the world. However, when it comes to taking unpopular decisions, this government is not willing to make them. This political short-sightedness is all to the detriment of our country's future. Mind you, the economical consequences are already being felt in our society. Heck, it has even affected Bernama, that institution which as Malaysia's official news agency should be the bedrock of our English language efficiency. Yet, the Federal government today still continues to harbour the citizens and dish out largesse when there is little to share around. The only way out is to free the people, provide them with the tools and allow them to compete globally on an equal basis. To do that, the government must do away with protective policies and the learning of the English language in schools is simply one of them.

In the past, I've written here and here that we must not stop using English in schools. I've even gone further by voicing opinion with friends that the government should perhaps bring back elitism into schools and allow some of them to convert fully into the English language medium. I've often wondered why should the government or the people feel threatened about this because in the long run, these students who will be the beneficiaries of an education policy change are ultimately the future engines of this country. Shoot the politicians, it will be commerce and the economy that guarantees whether Malaysia progress or regress in the decades to come.

Enough said

Another Ip Man movie hits the cinemas

I've read more books in the last six months than in the last six years put together; I've also watched more movies in the cinemas during the last six months than in the last six years together too. That's the extent of which I've had more time to enjoy myself with my personal pursuits while attempting to re-build my interest in the estate planning business (but that is altogether another tale).

My interest in the movies was rekindled after my friend Hamid brought me to see James Cameron's Avatar at a cinema in Kuala Lumpur last January. Since then, I've also watched the ho-hum remake of Clash Of The Titans and Ip Man 2. Watching the latter film prompted me to search for a DVD copy of Ip Man.

Can't deny that I'm actually hooked onto this historical character after watching the two films even though I know that the films' producers took a lot of liberties with the story lines. But then, what movies we see have not been guilty of this? How much is real and how much is fictitious? Unfortunately, movies blur this line until ultimately we ourselves become confused and subconsciously assume that the fiction may be true.

But I don't want to go into a discussion about this. Purely from the entertainment viewpoint, Ip Man and Ip Man 2 were stuff to make us leave the cinema feeling that good had triumphed over evil once more. Ip Man was all about the fight against the barbaric often heartless Japanese invaders while Ip Man 2 focussed on the brash, arrogant and corrupt British kwei-lo. Typically, both continued to be portrayed as the real (ever present) enemies of the Chinese people, the cruel oppressors and racists that needed to be destroyed or put down. Honour of China and the Chinese people at stake, blah blah blah, which was all very well if the cinema audience comprised wholly the mainland Chinese. But as a Chinese who ancestors left the "old motherland" at least a century ago, it was a bit embarrassing to hear such fervour being repeated ad nauseum. So for me, the two shows were mainly entertainment and nothing more. I never read too much into the sometimes not-to-sublime messages that the producers convey.

Nevertheless, do I have enough of the Ip Man genre? Apparently, not. Two days ago, I took my family to the cinema for "The Legend Is Born - Ip Man", the supposed prequel to the two earlier films. In truth, I enjoyed this show. I enjoyed it so much more than the two other Ip Man films. Although the story line should again be taken with a big pinch of salt (for instance, it was never explained how his adopted brother get to learn karate and judo if he was assimilated into the family at the tender age of 12. I'm so confused...), I must say for the third time that I enjoyed it. Fast and furious, that's all I can say about the action in this movie.

And who was the bad guy in this movie? Bonus: there were two. First was the knucklehead of a clueless and naive British kwei-lo who was quickly put down in a short fight after he mouthed something like Chinese pigs (Hey, I'd get insulted too, okay? Never insult the food I eat) and the second was the corrupt and evil Japanese businessman and his private army intent on taking over the community. So at least for this show, there were two profiled enemies for the price of one cinema ticket.

My verdict for this show: plot is all so very typical but it's redeeming point is the incredible fight scenes involving well-respected actors. So, definitely well worth a watch if you have to spend a mindless two hours in a fantasy land.

George Town Festival 2010: Exorbitant prices for Emily of Emerald Hill

I am proud to call myself an Anak Pulau Pinang, born and raised in the city of George Town. Although circumstances later forced me to relocate to the mainland, my bond with the island and the city are intact and permanent. And no one can accuse this particular Anak Pulau Pinang of not being an ardent supporter of the first George Town Festival 2010, the month-long festival in celebration of the city of George Town's status as a UNESCO world cultural heritage site. I am, and various people knows it.

And naturally, I am very excited with the wide variety of programmes that the Festival's committee had drawn up to involve not only the people of Penang but from elsewhere too. Not to say that many of the programmes are anything new, of course, because most of them are basically the same general stuff that are strutted out year in and year out during other festivals. But there are some exclusive new programmes too, like the Emily of Emerald Hill show with its Peranakan background which should appeal to the general public that still keep in touch with their cultural heritage.

Yet somehow, I feel it is all wrong that the organisers of Emily of Emerald Hill are taking lots of liberty to fix the prices of the tickets for sale to the general public at RM150 per ticket, even at RM250 per ticket for the "better" seats, when I sense that there is a substantial number of complimentary tickets being given away free of charge.

To me, the unmistakable feeling is that the genuinely-interested public is being short-changed. They are being made to pay high prices while a lot of the free tickets are being offered out to people with the right connections, regardless of their interest in the show or the occasion.

Don't forget what we are celebrating. The state government and the organisers of this George Town Festival 2010 should be encouraging more of the Anak Pulau Pinang to come celebrate the city's listing as a UNESCO world cultural heritage site. I know there are already lots of free programmes for the general public to join in and the three Emily of Emerald Hill shows are considered more exclusive. But it doesn't make it proper for the organisers to keep ticket prices so high for the general public, because are they being made to subsidise the free tickets? Or are the cost of the shows already paid for with sponsorship money? These are the questions that should be answered openly in the interest of competency, accountability and transparency. If the costs of the shows are indeed being borne by sponsors, why do the organisers need to keep prices high? More affordable ticket prices at RM80 and RM120 will ensure continuing interest by the public in many other things that are Penang, if not exclusively Peranakan. 

The danger of reserving so many tickets to be given out free is that how many of the ticket recipients are truly appreciative of their opportunity? Will all actually be present for the shows? Worse still, at such exorbitant prices - even if the shows come with a nyonya-style dinner - how many tickets do the organisers expect to sell to the public? They are pricing themselves out of the reach of many people. And the publicity....the shows are only days away and I do not see much publicity being generated except for something in The Sunday Star yesterday.

At such prices, I hope the organisers are confident that they can sell all the tickets and get a full house for the three performances. Best of luck to them. Or otherwise, they may be forced to give away even the unsold tickets to ensure that people do turn up for the shows. Now, not only would that be a big shame, it would also be a gross injustice to the general public who had paid so much for the tickets in the first place! So again, competency, accountability and transparency must be addressed here.

And finally, this paragraph is written as an after-thought. When I alerted a friend in the state government about this odd practice, I was a bit incensed when told that if I felt that the show won't be worth the money, then I shouldn't go. This is completely unacceptable. What is public feedback if it is not appreciated? The solution is not for the public to boycott any of the programmes for the George Town Festival 2010 but for the state government, as the main stakeholder, to ensure that everything is properly organised and completely above board. There must always be transparency where public participation is required and money is involved for the public good. It's important not to fall back on the old ways where fund raisers for projects are allowed to thumb their noses at people and tell them "So what? I'm the one that raised the money. You don't have a say in how I spend it."

Penang Botanic Garden arches will go!

Yes, I am glad that those concrete arches at the Penang Botanic Garden will be demolished. According to the Star Online this afternoon, the Ministry of Tourism announced that the tilting arch and its companion will both be demolished.

The two silly structures had cost RM150,000 of the taxpayers' money but in my opinion, they were totally incompatible with the environment. An environmental disaster. Nevertheless, the damage has already been done. The land outside the Garden's gate has already been flattened and I fear that it will never recover. At least, not till its original state.

However, in making this announcement today, I could still detect a tinge of sour grapes in the Minister, Dr Ng Yen Yen, when she said: “The beautification project was meant for the people and if they are not happy, we should not force them to accept it.” It did not sound like a total recapitulation in good faith but one done grudgingly because the tilting arch had also become unstable.

But in the first place, she shouldn't have forced this project down the throats of the people, regardless of whether this was done in Penang or elsewhere. It's just not right. Does she mean that the Federal Government can do anything at its own whims and fancies without consulting the stakeholders who are the most affected by any project? Well, that's the impression that I still have, that the federal government can jolly well do that.

She is dead wrong. We are not mindless simpletons who are swayed by federal largesse. We can think for ourselves and criticise and object and oppose whoever we see having made mistakes. It's not about politics. It's about our unalienable place in society. We are here because we exist; we exist because we are here. That, the federal government has got to understand.

Riddle of the black rain

On the day that my wife was born, it was reported in The Straits Times that "it rained with a difference at the village of Jemaluang, 13 miles from Mersing in Johore."

The villagers gasped with surprise when they found that the rain drops were black. Streams in the locality were filled to the banks with churning black water. No-one could explain the phenomenon. Samples of the black rain will be sent to Johore Bahru for examination.

The mystery was cleared up about two weeks later. According to the newspaper again, the Meteorological Department in Singapore had analysed a sample of the "black rain" water.

A Department spokesman said that the black sediment in the rain water was found to comprise "essentially vegetable debris, that is woody vessels, vegetable fibres or carbon soot." Its finding seems to settle a riddle and confirm a theory put forward recently by Prof. C. J. Eliezer, Dean of Science at the University of Malaya.

Prof. Eliezer was reported to have said that in his opinion, soot from a nearby fire had been blown in the direction of a rain-forming cloud. "As condensation took place, the soot particles dissolved into it forming black drops of rain," he added.

Stretching a tennis record

My father left me two lasting legacies: a love of reading and a love of music. From young, the radio and records, books, magazines and newspapers have always been my constant companions. Unfortunately in the past 10 years or so, I had not been able to indulge myself with reading. Not until the past five months or so. Now, I do find myself enjoying my reading again because I have more time. at hand

In my teenaged years, I used to pour over the newspapers every day. Maybe not every page of a newspaper (definitely not the classifieds or the shipping pages) but yes, I did read them. They helped to broaden my general knowledge of the world around me. Of course, it's almost impossible to remember anything of what I read so long ago but curiously enough, when this year's Wimbledon tennis grand slam tournament began some five days ago, a little bit of forgotten trivia popped up in my mind.

I can't remember where I read it -- could be the New Straits Times or The Malay Mail or The Straits Echo or The Eastern Sun or The Star -- but there was a picture showing two players slugging it out at Wimbledon 1969 (actual date of play was 26 Jun 1969, I believe) with a caption saying that Pancho Gonzales had beaten Charlie Pasarell in a marathon match that went to 112 games and lasted more than five hours. It's true, there was such a picture in one of our local newspapers then. I won't say anything more about this historical match because there's so much reference to it these few days.

Therefore, it was with more than a passing curiosity that I read in the online newspapers during the past two days of the herculean effort between John Isner and Nikolas Mahut at Wimbledon 2010, how their first-round match had surpassed all other tennis records in history (except one, which was the speed of the fastest serve). It was incredible how the two players had been unable to get the better of one another until 138 games had been contested in the fifth set. This special historical moment in world tennis has now become sports lore. I won't say anything more too because there's a lot written about this match now.

Anyway, when I plonked myself down in front of the television to watch the drama at Wimbledon 2010, I was at the same time surfing the Internet and visiting the Wimbledon website, especially their live update page. Quite surreal to see a first-round match from a distant Court 18 garnering so much world-wide interest and prominent coverage on one of the Astro sports channels.

I noticed that there was a delay of about 10 minutes in the tennis "live" telecast. I wondered why. Was Astro worried that one of the Williams sisters may make an unexpected appearance in the men's competition wearing one of her dresses like in Paris, and that would require an on-the-spot censoring? Or maybe, to blank out Maria Sharapova?

When the Isner-Mahut match was finally over, I had sent a text message to my friend Eric at about 11.45pm but the closing stages of this match was only shown over television at about 11.55pm. A bit of disappointment over the 10-minute delay, really. But it allowed me time to snap this picture from my TV set.  Their expressions spoke volumes. That's over-the-top John Isner (United States) towering over down-in-the-dumps Nikolas Mahut (France) and chair umpire Mohamed Lahyani (Morocco) who looked almost clueless about his own place in tennis history which most probably would be the seven hours-plus that he spent on the chair on the second day without going to the washroom. Real dedication to the game but obviously can only be at the eventual expense of his own health.

My Dendrobium's finally flowered

After more than two years of watering and patiently watching over this Dendrobium orchid plant, I'm finally rewarded by two sprays of flowers with another one on its way. Mind you, the flowers are not as yellow as depicted below; they are more of a light green which I'm unable to reproduce accurately here. Nevertheless, I'm happy with them.

Hard Rock

Going to the Hard Rock Cafe? Don't go to the wrong one! 

Farts equal cleansing, blue equals ultraviolet

Had a short, rather flippant on-line conversation with a friend from the old office this morning. That was before he hurriedly left the office on a mission with the rest of the guys. For no other reason than a wish for anonymity, I have removed the name of the newspaper he was referring to. Here is the flow of my conversation but his rant:

me: sayy....you still drinkie lotsa coffie in offie?
Ted:  only 3 in 1, 2 in 1...seldom brew anymore...no one to drink
me:  i was told by a nutritionist yesterday to cut down because caffeine does no good to the bones
Ted:  i c... don't believe everything they say
me:  sure, i don't take in everything too but there are certain truths, i suppose
Ted:  (the newspapers are) also full of bullshit health claims. very bad science/health editing...  some stories are obvious advertisements for quack treatments/potions. if u can't tell i'm set off by one story...bullshit claim that blue LEDs can hurt your eyes
me:  didn't read that story
Ted:  they mix together a bunch of true recommendations about eye strain, with bullshit claims that blue LEDs damage your retina and try to suggest you buy some supplements to counteract it
me:  half truths
Ted:  and keep adding the word  'blue'  to 'ultraviolet' 
me:  haha
Ted:  ultraviolet of course does cause damage
me:  all this in yesterday's papers?
Ted:  just one story...but seems like every sunday i see some bullshit story like that. i don't mind the advertisements...but i think its bad for the public to put such things in as newspaper articles
me:  ahh....ted of little faith. of course, you must believe all the gospel truth in the newspapers you read. if it is in the papers, it must be true...
Ted:  i don't of course...but my chinese family does... in fact they have one of those bullshit oxygen generators bubbling their drinking water and they claim it makes them fitter and produces more farts
me:  oh no....don't they realise that they are contributing to the green house effect?
Ted:  they equate farts = cleansing, but of course their farts have nothing to do with the bubbled water

I would have loved to carry on with this fascinating small talk but unfortunately, he had weightier issues to consider, like having to run out for breakfast....

George Town's city status: The Queen responds

A bit of history. Would you know that on 21 Dec 1956, the Federation Government announced that Queen Elizabeth II had ordered that George Town be raised to the "status and dignity of a city" from 1 Jan 1957?

The Queen's decision, recorded in the London Gazette, followed a petition sent to her on 31 Aug 1956 by the George Town Municipality which on 1 Jan 1957 would celebrate the centenary of the Straits Settlements Municipal Act enacted in 1857.

The motion to submit the petition was introduced in the Municipal Council by the then Alliance Whip, Mr A.M. Abu Bakar.

Leaders of the new city's quarter-million people - George Town claimed 230,000 of the Settlement's total population of nearly 550,000 - hailed the Queen's decision as "a truly royal gesture."

With George Town's elevation, the election of Penang's first Mayor on 2 Jan 1957 would assume greater significance. The two leading candidates for this office - the Alliance's Mr G.H.Goh and Labour's Mr D.S. Ramanthan - both welcomed the Queen's gesture.

The Municipal Secretary and Treasurer, Mr S.V. Adams, said: "I am very pleased. There will now undoubtedly be greater rejoicing during our centenary festival, especially as the granting of this status comes so soon after the visit of the Duke of Edinburgh to Penang."

"But," Mr Ramanathan warned, "a mere change of status without any improvement in the city's conditions of living will, in the final analysis, bring no great joy to the common man in George Town."

Mr Goh said he shared fully in the feeling of pride of every man and woman in Penang.

"George Town may not be a very big city of the future but it has rich traditions," he said. "We are certainly proud we shall be the first city of the Federation."

The retiring Municipal President, Mr J.S.H. Cunyngham-Brown, said that the elevation of George Town to city status was "a royal gift to Malaya on its first great birthday as an independent nation."

He added: "As in the past, so in the future this city will stand or fall by the continuing wisdom and integrity of its Councillors. The tasks that will face the new City Council are many and vital."

The only discordant note came from Penang UMNO which sent a memorandum to the Malayan Chief Minister, Tengku Abdul Rahman, protesting against the Municipal Council's petition to the Queen.

It objected on the grounds that the petition was submitted without prior consultation with UMNO and that the granting of city status was unnecessary with merdeka less than a year away.

Che Aisha binte Sheikh Ahmad, Secretary of Penang UMNO's Kaum Ibu (women's section), reiterated: "We still stand firm by our protest."

Going Dutch with Anneke Gronloh

It would be very foolish to assume that this was an uncommon record in this part of the world. No, this seven-inch extended play 45rpm record was very popular in the early 1960s and no doubt, buyers of this record - my father included - were greatly smitten by the Dutch singer, Louise Johanna (also known as Anneke) Gronloh. She not only sang well but looked fabulous. In fact, she was a teenage idol and had represented Holland at a Eurovision song contest.

I remember that in my pre-teen years, I was spinning this record endlessly on the old gramophone at our Seang Tek Road home. Was I also smitten with her? Or was I just carried away by the catchy songs? No matter, because the four songs on this record just stayed with me.

But when I was down in Kuala Lumpur recently, I happened to see a shop selling this compact disc. Memories of the endless hours playing the songs came back. Weak-kneed, I picked up a copy and continually played it in the car stereo on the drive back to Penang until my wife said "enough was enough."

Yah, okay, I do admit that two hours listening to the same 12 songs on this compact disc can stretch anyone's patience but now I know that I can always slip this disc into the home stereo and listen to it any time while my wife's away at work. After all these years, Anneke Gronloh's bubbly songs still bring back fun memories.

Note: Anneke Gronloh is Dutch but she was born on Celebes island in Indonesia during the Japanese Occupation of South-East Asia. After the War, her family emigrated to Eindhoven, Holland and it was there that she started her musical career. She normally sings in the Dutch language but for her tour of the Far East in 1962 in which she appeared on stage in Malacca and Singapore, she made special effort to re-discover her Indonesian roots and learn several songs in the Malay and Indonesian languages. The songs on this compact disc are testimony of the comfort she had singing in these two languages.

Alex the parrot

Got bored on a lazy Saturday afternoon, so I thought that I'd get entertained by this talking bird. It could distinguish between colours and shapes. It had a vocabulary of about 150 words which it used intelligently. Alex the parrot died in September 2007, so this video that I found on YouTube is a little tribute to it.

Contrasting emotions

 We are not amused....

....but we certainly are!

It's official: Public holiday on George Town heritage day

So finally, the Penang State Secretariat has seen it fit to inform various parties in the state about 7 July 2010 being an official Penang state public holiday. 

This matter had been dithering on for quite without the government making any official announcement. Last month, I was constantly poking a friend in the state machinery to make clear the government's stand on this holiday. Has the holiday even been gazetted and announced? He replied that the government departments and schools in the state would be observing this holiday but I told him that it wasn't enough. It just wasn't good enough.

It's not that I want another holiday. As I'm now retired, it makes utterly no difference to me whether or not the seventh of July of every year would be a public holiday but the state has to take into account more than the public servants and the school students.

Where is the pride in George Town being accorded UNESCO world cultural heritage status when the state does no follow-up on their initial pronouncement on celebrating this listing? Don't they want the general public to join in as well? Why confine the holiday to only schools and government offices? If they want the business community to acknowledge our UNESCO status and have the option to celebrate the occasion, they must let them know officially. It's not at the spur of the moment that businesses in Penang can declare a holiday for their staff. Even giving them a one-month notice such as this may not be enough. However, I'm satisfied that at least, this official announcement has now been made and the business sector can plan to embrace it, maybe not this year but in later years.

But how I wish that the Penang government can make a more constant effort to promote the UNESCO status. Heritage has already come under the Chief Minister's Office but I just fear that the engine to proceed full steam with heritage programmes in the state (not just the City) may still require more than a kick-start.

Penang Botanic Garden arch tilt worsening?

Well, it is about time that the Ministry of Tourism stop all this nonsense of collecting further feedback from the stakeholders of the Penang Botanic Garden and decide on bringing down the two arches. No further amount of public feedback is necessary if it has become clear that the arches, once deemed as monstrosities, are now dangerous as well.

Last month, there was a news item which claimed that one of the arches was beginning to tilt. As usual, there were the denials and posturings that the tilt was all just an illusion of the eye.

However, there is now further claim that the tilt has indeed worsened. If it is true and at the rate it is said to be tilting, how can the soil around the two arches be stable any more? With the rainy spell upon us, no-one can predict how much damage is occurring under the ground.

I don't see why the Ministry and their Minister cannot admit that the poorly planned Penang Botanic Garden expansion project is now in jeopardy and the only way out is to dismantle the dangerous arches.

Please don't wait for more studies or public opinion. It's no longer about Federal Government versus State Government. We, the people of Penang, cannot afford to wait for Mother Nature to get any more angrier. This is all about public safety. Yes, and this is the right opportunity for the Ministry to exit honourably before the situation gets any worse.