Friday 20 October 2023

Proudly inefficient

Ah, the saga of my replacement credit card from the United Overseas Bank – a tale of unparalleled efficiency and light-speed service that will undoubtedly go down in banking history!

You see, I had the audacity to report my original card as misplaced on the 2nd of October. Foolishly, I thought that I'd soon be reunited with a shiny new card. I mean, Citibank once replaced my card within three days of me reporting it lost, but I obviously had unrealistically high expectations that the United Overseas Bank would inherit such efficiency.

But oh, how they surprised me. After a whole week of waiting for the doorbell to chime with the arrival of my new card, I decided to call the United Overseas Bank on the 8th of October. I asked the lovely lady on the other end, "What's the status of my replacement card?" To my shock, her response was, "It hasn't been approved yet."

Naturally, I explained that their "it'll take a couple of weeks" timeline was entirely unacceptable – I needed my card urgently! She then matter-of-factly mentioned, "Oh no, sir, it typically takes about two weeks to approve and process a new card, and then another week for it to be delivered."

Such nonsense! What a splendid display of efficiency from a bank that is nothing short of world-class. Only three weeks to get a replacement card to their valued customers? But wait, there's more – the call centre lady went on to say, "You know, if we use Pos Malaysia, it will take two weeks to deliver your card." Well, aren't we lucky to have a bank that uses a delivery service twice as fast as Pos Malaysia?

Absolutely riveting.

My replacement card finally arrived on the 18th of October, a mere 16 days after reporting it misplaced. And the cherry on top? The delivery company they used was Pos Laju – yes, you guessed it, from Pos Malaysia! What on earth is this bank even talking about?

But, hold on, there's an epilogue. My dear wife, who also reported her credit card lost to the United Overseas Bank at the same time as me, had quite a different experience. The reason was that I had the "honour" of safeguarding her card with mine. So, naturally, both our cards vanished into the void together. We reported them separately but simultaneously. The twist? I raised my voice in complaint and received my new card via Pos Laju on the 18th. She, on the other hand, stayed silent and received her card today, the 20th, by ordinary mail.

Truly, no words can encapsulate this astonishing experience. Bravo, United Overseas Bank – your impeccable service has left me utterly speechless!

#UnitedOverseasBank #UOB #CreditCardReplacement #BankingIssues #EfficiencyConcerns #CustomerService #CreditCardDelivery #Complaints #BankingExperience

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