Okay .... eeeasy does it. Let's be careful unloading this grand piano. After all, it's a Bosendorfer. You know what's a Bosendorfer, don't you? Well, it's like a Stradivarius, only much, much bigger.
So we gotta be careful, lads. After all, these folks have paid a lot of money for the piano. They've been saving and scrimping these past two years to raise £26,000 to buy this rare Bosendorfer and they want to play it this weekend at the Two Moors British music festival.
Altogether now, heave.....
Instead of imparting joy to music lovers at the festival, the 9-foot piano turned in a brief and off-key tune as it crashed to the ground. The memorable performance was caught on camera by the festival's organiser as she stood by to welcome the Old Lady.
As its wooden casing broke open, the piano gave up the ghost with "a deafening noise like 10 honky-tonk pianos being hit by mallets".
Added the same organiser: "The piano is enormous - much longer than most grands - and its tail must have caught on the lorry as the movers were trying to manoeuvre it off. They were swinging it round and were dropping the tail lift when it caught on the side and bounced off the trolley. It landed on the drive and its momentum made it slid along, tipped over and landed on its lid. The drop was at least 14 feet and it made an incredible racket - like something from a cartoon."
Three staff jumped clear, one holding his head in his hands in one of the camera shots which are now part of the festival's unwanted souvenir.
In a final act of ignominy, a farmer was called in to scoop up the piano in a mechanical digger. It was loaded back into the lorry and returned to London for the damage to be assessed. It cost £26,000 secondhand but could cost about £45,000 to replace.
Hmm .... need any original spare parts for your private Bosendorfer, anyone? There are about 10,000 pieces in London. All going cheap.