Tuesday 9 August 2022

Happy 57th, Singapore

To commemorate Singapore's National Day today, I am reproducing an updated poem by Andrew Sia, former journalist from The Star newspaper, all in good fun:

They have 3 K's - Kiasu, Kiasi, Kiabo
We have 3 R's - Race, Religion, Royalty
Their dollar is bigger, our houses are cheaper 
Our food is better, their food branding is better 
We go there to work, bargher...they come here to enjoy
Our politics is sex videos, their politics is LKY's house
They talk of uniting one nation, we talk of uniting one race
We argue about religion, they argue about being diligent
We fight over Jawi-khat, they jump & cut ahead
We have the natural wealth, but why the hell are they richer?
They value know-how, we worship know-WHO
They shake leaders' hands, we kiss leaders' hands
They go by meritocracy
We cari jalan with cable-tocracy
Their clean means less corrupt
Our clean means more "holy" 😅 
They have LKY & LHL, we have Razak & Najib 
Both Father and Son, but different spirit
So don't complain, when SGD & MYR are 3 to 1 
We wanna charge them more for water, they say nevermind, can drink toilet water
We call it Batu Putih, they call it Pedra Branca 
They want to expand, we say no give sand (but curi-curi maybe can)
We have comedy king Harith, they have comedy queen Kumar
Our squash queen Nicol reigned long
Their swim king Schooling reigned damp 
Majulah Singapura is original, Negaraku was copied
Both in Malay language, but they don't understand what they're singing
We had MCO, EMCO, CMCO & RMCO
They had CB, CCB & KNNBCCB 😅
We both claim chicken rice, but hello, it's actually from Hainan
Our country is bigger, their country is safer
They nourish city trees, we butcher city trees
They promote cycling, we promote highways
We have cheaper cars, they have better transport
We were one country, now we're different worlds, First and Third
-- By Andrew Sia, Malaysian, 9 August, 2022


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