Thursday 31 October 2024

When in-laws meet

Titiwangsa, the Main Range. That was what I crossed travelling on the East-West Highway between Penang and Kelantan last weekend. It was a six-hour drive eastwards on Saturday, followed by another equally lengthy journey back west on Sunday. My wife and I accompanied her sister and brother-in-law to Tanah Merah to deliver the pheng-kim to their future daughter-in-law’s parents, ahead of their younger son’s wedding in a fortnight. We felt honoured to be asked to help carry the siah-nah and other wedding gifts. Saw See led the way into the house with the siah-nah while my brother-in-law and I brought up the rear with the fruits. The pheng-kim is the traditional dowry ritual offered by the groom’s parents to the bride’s family, while the siah-nah is a woven rattan wedding basket used to carry those dowry items. All deeply rooted in Chinese custom.

On Sunday morning, we arrived at the bride’s parents’ house in Tanah Merah. They were well prepared for our arrival; a red banner was already strung across the main doorway, and to the left, a lavish buffet spread awaited. We arrived with minimal fanfare, met by the curious eyes of close relatives meeting us for the first time. Without much ado, Saw See entered the house first with the siah-nah, carefully prepared the night before in our hotel room, followed by her sister carrying additional traditional gifts such as a pair of dragon and phoenix candles, wedding biscuits and two bottles of brandy. Meanwhile, we men brought in the fruit—apples and oranges adorned with the double happiness symbol—which we placed on the table before the family altar. With the worship and dowry presentation completed, we gathered for lunch before exchanging farewells and setting off on our long journey home.










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