Friday, 1 January 2010

My farewell note to

Dear comrades,

Lewis Carroll, in his delightful book "Through The Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There", published as long ago as in 1872, wrote an absurd poem called "The Walrus And The Carpenter". I'm no walrus and neither am I a carpenter, but I often quote a line from this poem which goes: "The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things."

Now, I'm not going to talk of many things but I'm going to tell you all a story. A story so very short that it may seem more like a joke than a story. Nevertheless, it is a story. It may have actually happened; it may not have happened. Think what you may.
Once upon a time, a nameless off-duty Content Manager was called upon to give an impromptu speech on the topic of "Sex" at a dinner function. You do know what's an impromptu speech, don't you? It's when you are asked to speak at the spur of the moment without any warning or preparation because the main speaker happened to have cold feet and disappeared into the toilet and won't come out.

This Content Manager took it all in his stride. After a brief introduction by the Master of Ceremony, he walked up to the rostrum, adjusted the microphone, looked around the room, beamed brightly at all around, nodded to the expectant listeners and began his speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said in a very clear voice, "Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure...."

And then he walked back to his seat.
Dear comrades, that is how short and upbeat a speech should be. You don't want to bore your audience to tears. Similarly, farewells should be kept short and upbeat too. Unfortunately as I've never had much practice at saying farewells, I don't know how to keep this message short. You'll have to suffer me while I play out my time from centre court.

But I should have better luck at keeping messages upbeat than short. At 3pm today, this email address will d.i.s.a.p.p.e.a.r...... Yes, in less than five hours' time, nobody can reach me here any more. Now, maybe for old times' sake, if you still yearn for me to look over, review, edit and comment on your document and get that final "stamp of SS Quah approval" for posterity, well, perhaps you'd want to send it to me now. But mind you, there's no guarantee that I can get back to you in time as this offer is only good until 3pm.

Dear comrades, like the nameless off-duty Content Manager above, I also don't wish to bore you to tears any longer than necessary. Therefore, let me conclude by saying this to you: if you do care, I'm still around in the Ethernet. And if you really do care, please come visit me occasionally at and drop me a line to say hello. You will be welcomed and you'll be touching me with your gracious presence.

So....for the first and last time, goodbye, and may you have enough. Enough, that is, of everything you want in your life!

SS Quah
Content Manager (retired)


stephen said...

Good speech!! Concise and up to the point.I give it 100marks for no hesitation,deviation or repetition and allows the diners to get on with their meal while pondering on the wisdom those few words have enunciated.

I surmise the content manager in question is now happily retired and contented??

Quah, Seng-Sun said...

I suppose Kenneth Williams and Clement Freud would have liked it till the very end...haha.

Jeffrey Chew said...

Thanks for being there...thanks for listening...thanks for having faith in me when the world was crumbling around me. U rock my friend, always

shenski said...

hello! :)